Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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