she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
