its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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