So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
