We named our party play list daddy issues
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
