eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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