I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
