This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am midnight drunk by noon
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
