The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
