Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he had hair everywhere except his balls
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
