oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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