Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
