oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
