For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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