i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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