Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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