farters have to be the big spoon...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
