Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
