It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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