Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
