I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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