She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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