I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
