Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
