Someone shit on the floor
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
