is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
