I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
