we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
