This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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