You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
