Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
