So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
