Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
