I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
