she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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