she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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