Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
