you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
