Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
