Umm I'm too high to move.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
