Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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