it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Did I show you my penis last night?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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