hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
