Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
