New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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