he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
