i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
