he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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