i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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