Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
